The Flyathlon Hardware
For those of you who need to make your mark on this world, I present you with the Flyathlon trophies! If you are fast on the trails, skilled with a rod, or some inhuman combination of the two, like Lord Stanley’s Cup(s), your name may eventually be etched (or in this case, burned) into greatness…
There are five total trophies, for now, and they are:
Flyathlete of the Year- Men: This beautiful trout / sailfish hybrid was recovered from a brass bin in Denver, and represents the wild spirit of the Flyathlete. If you shake it, it rattles. Not entirely sure what is inside it.
Flyathlete of the Year- Women: Also rescued from the scrap heap, this spectacular sunfish fish is made of a pure golden colored metal. Since the Flyathlon is traditionally run high up in the mountains, if you actually catch a fish that resembles this fish, please let the Race Director or the nearest fisheries biologist know immediately.
Biggest Fish of the Year- Man or Woman: The most spectacular of our trophies, this pewter beauty actually used to be a serving platter, and can still be used as such in a pinch.
Smallest Fish of the Year- Man or Woman: The least spectacular of our trophies, this little guy is intended to celebrate the miracle of trout reproduction. And the miracle that you just landed and photographed a fish that small.
Fundraiser of the Year: One of our most important trophies, this donated halibut is awarded annually to the individual who raises the most money for cold water conservation. I know that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but it really is a spectacular halibut.
Unlike the Stanley Cup, the Flyathlon trophies do not travel, except to the event itself. Instead, they reside on top of the bitchin new keg-o-rator in my garage, which you may visit only under close supervision.